Some of the things that were said were that older folks like intentional community because they value security and supportive relationships, as well as what traditional nuclear families provided: love, nurture, mutual support, compassion, a daily support system of trusted friends, dignity and respect.
This all sounds good to me; one of the reasons I've been looking for an intentional community is to have a place to grow old in.
I see I'm running out of space, so I'll save the rest for my next post. In the meantime, do you identify with these reasons/benefits for community? Have you found them here? BTW, I suspect all ages will identify with many, if not all of the values mentioned above.
I want to clarify my ideas about community, and whether LV is the place for me. Please be forthright! Thanks, Connie
Connie, I think there are no guarantees that a person at LV will develop supportive relationships, but it has happened for a lot of people here, some still around, others departed. Sometimes people come to intentional communities with inflated expectations (I don't think you're one of them) and are disappointed when they are not met. Leah and the cow would be an example from LV - not a huge deal on its own but illustrative - I can tell you the story if you like.
ReplyDeleteI tried leaving a comment, but it was too long. I added it as a new post instead.
ReplyDeleteChelsea
Connie – well being a rookie cohouser, it’s been quite an experience for my family having moved here. Almost one year into it, Tanya and I are very happy we made the change from a “traditional” neighborhood to a coho one. Being in the position of being over 50 yet having young children, I came here for a whole pile of reasons: community; a safer, richer, multi-generational life for my children; and also to find a place that nurtured my soul to be able to grow old in. And although I always say I consider myself a realist, I realize that sometimes I’m a dreamer and throw realism aside. Meaning, I think I imagined coming here and that it would all be nirvana, a paradise found in Libertytown, where all folks would love me and I would love them and we’d all live happily ever after, the end, kumbaya. So, it’s taken a year to realize that people are people: they have their preferences, likes and dislikes, even in cohousing! (gasp!) And that even in cohousing, just like the rest of the world, real friendships take time to create and deepen. And that just like the “outside world”, there will always be people that like me and that don’t really like me. And, that just by moving here, I have NOT magically become a total rock of love and serenity, but that all of my great stuff, flaws, judgments, biases, strengths, and pathologies moved here with me as well. Sigh. But what I have found here are people who are striving for community, striving to help one another and be there and support one another, as best as we all can. And that does not result in nirvana, but that’s still pretty cool - and much much more than I ever found in the non-coho world.
ReplyDeleteI think we have the start to some great "Elevator Speeches" here. Igor, please don't throw the pie at me, but how about a prize of a 30 minute, fully clothed seated massage? much less caloric than pie, and I know just the libertarian massuer to do the job.
ReplyDeleteAnn - you know, some of us live our lives in breathless anticipation of the next calorie. But sure, give me the details about the masseur either here or off-line and that sounds like a great idea.
ReplyDeleteI finally found out how to access the blog and the comments! When I saw Chelsea's post, I thought that's all there was.
ReplyDeleteThanks to you guys, John and Igor, as well as Chelsea for taking the time to answer and comment on my questions.
More to come....
I was thinking this am (funny how one has time when not rushing out to work at 6:30am), that I have been part of many valuable, deliberate communities in my adult life:
ReplyDeleteGlut Food Coop
Mt Rainier Area Baby Sitting Coop
American Women of Surrey
Wheelkickers TKD Club
Paint Branch UU Church
Liberty Village Co Housing
EJARA Dinner Group
Marraige Enrichment Group
Cedarhurst UU Church
That's quite a list for someone who grew up painfully shy. Am I making up for lost time? finding fulfillment?
Why do you join communities(if you do)? Is it just to escape loneliness? Is there such a thing as too much togetherness? Can we start a book club in the Village?